Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Kentucky Teens Charged With Stealing Monkeys


I had heard some snippets of this story both on television and online and finally got the skinny on the crime via the Daily Times in Maryville, where this picture was published.

Two wee, tiny female marmosets were stolen from a Sevierville pet store and Maryville police captured the suspects and found the wee, tiny marmosets in the suspects' vehicle. The tiny critters are now back at the pet store. And apparently the suspects were attempting to break into another pet store when apprehended.

Um.

Why did these teens from Kentucky steal wee, tiny marmosets?

Is there an underground stolen marmoset market in Kentucky? Perhaps they were to be put to slave labor making meth in some nightmare marmoset and meth manufacturing scenario? Were the teens gacked outta their brains on meth and thought the monkeys were some kind of new, fuzzy money?

Was it some crime of passion -- "Honey-bunny, you see them little monkey things? I'm gonna get em fer ya, even if I have to turn to a life of crime just so's I can prove my looooove fer ya"??

Maybe some crazy bet between the two teens - "i bet i kin steal more monkeys 'n you can!"

An idea born of some bizarre interior decorating scheme -- "You know what this duplex needs? Yep, marmosets."

Your theories are welcome.

I for one hope the critters crapped all over the car and peed in the ashtray.

7 comments:

Cinemonkey said...

Some kind of simian scavenger hunt is my guess. "Okay, we got the howler & the chimp...Aw heck, where are we gonna find marmosets at this hour?!"

And I can't hear or see the word "marmoset" without hearing Ren Hoek's voice.

The Editor said...

I love the idea of wee, tiny marmosets. Christmas is only 6 months away! I know what I want!

Vol Abroad said...

is that a two-headed monky?

sandegaye said...

Oh gosh, don't let Paris Hilton anywhere near the wee ones.

Joe Powell said...

Vol - naw, they are just huddled up in fear after their ordeal, plus a two-headed marmoset was NOT on the list of things they stole, heh heh.

Cinemonkey - i tried my best to use the phrase "Kodiak Marmosets!" via Ren Hoek, and failed, so thanks for finding a way to get it into this post!

Cinemonkey said...

So now we have the dreaded Wee Two-Headed Kodiak Marmoset !

james said...

They were members of the Marmoset Liberation Front!